Every Wednesday night for the last month or so, I have designated time to watch the magical world of Honey Boo Boo Child and her family tear it up in southern Georgia. At first, I was convinced that the show was just a sorry representation of red necks everywhere. They appeared dysfunctional, cutting coupons, farting and laughing about it, and being so open to their own faults. Their flaws and not their more appealing qualities in some sense, defined them. I asked myself, How could human beings exist like that? But, like the rest of us, I kept watching.
After a few more episodes, I realized that the family is not dysfunctional at all. Some may call this show a travesty to red necks everywhere, but I realized that the Honey Boo Boos are actually compassionate and loving, something completely foreign to me. I mean, how compassionate and loving could an upper-middle class family actually be? Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson, though the runt of the litter, has a strong relationship to her mother, Mama June, and her father, Sugar Bear, more so than I could ever hope to have with my own parents. Her siblings actually speak to each other in a civil manner. I haven’t spoken to my sister in two years and I’m pretty sure any conversation we’ve had has always ended up with tears. So, I realized that I could really use the relationship and family dynamic of the Thompson family to really strengthen the bonds with my own.
I set out to do this by farting in front of my mother. Honey Boo Boo and her sisters Pumpkin, Chickadee and Chubbs do it all the time, so why can’t I? My mother’s response was less than ideal; she walked out of the house and then refused to step in the same room for a few hours. So, I took another approach. I knew my parents were going to make their weekly trip to Whole Foods, you know, to buy organic dog food and wheat germ, and in true Mama June fashion, I printed out coupons for them and left them on the table. My dad took one look at them and he didn’t have any idea what they were. My parents had no understanding of what a coupon actually was. I felt completely failed at my attempts to create my own family dynamic. I had to ask myself, what would Honey Boo Boo do?
For one thing, Honey Boo Boo would not try to so hard to win her family’s love and affection. All she has to do is be her cute little chubby self and her family, and all of America, falls in love with her. I think that’s what all of us really want; to be our true selves, no matter how manic or depressed or outrageous we are, and still receive complete and honest love. But not all of us are bright eyed, blonde and a little overweight that it’s endearing. No, for most of us, we are too self-involved and wrapped up in our ideas of who we should be, and not what we truly are. And then it hit me: all I have to do is be me! All I have to do is be a little out of control and my parents will love me! Daddy issues be gone!
So far my little experiment has proved to be a little unsuccessful, but I’m much happier. I, too, can be a slightly overweight little girl with big dreams of becoming the next Miss America, no matter how slovenly I may appear and no matter how bad my table manners are. As long as I let my freak flag fly, I can truly embrace my inner Honey Boo Boo, whether the rest of you like it or not.
Molly Kilkelly is a senior at the School of Arts & Sciences.