Rutgers is known for being a very diverse school. For starters, there are five different campuses, a variety of ethnic food, and almost every type of person you can imagine. This diversity is also applicable to options for going to the bathroom. Indeed, as Charles Dickens once wrote, “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” in the world of Rutgers bathrooms. I’m here to give you a slice of this world of plumbing. Just a disclaimer though, all bathrooms described are men’s rooms.
1. Thai Noodle
Quite possibly the best that New Brunswick bathrooms have to offer. Here, you can eat like a king, and poop like a prince.
Grade: A
2. All Pizza Places on Easton
It’s ironic that the best Rutgers bathroom is in a forest of all its worst. These are rarely cleaned, never have toilet paper, and never, I mean never have hand-soap. Only use one of these bathrooms in the most desperate of circumstances. I mean blackout drunk on your 21st birthday or slipped laxatives desperate. If it comes down to this, please go to the doctor afterward.
Grade: F
3. Scott Hall
Objectively, this bathroom is fine. There’s usually soap, and usually toilet paper. However, it feels like a bathroom that would be in a high school, and nobody wants to go back to that.
Grade: C-
4. The ARC
This is mostly ok, but not a single stall had toilet paper in it. There were four stalls, just how?
Grade: B-
5. Rutgers Student Center
Not bad at all, tiny bathroom with one urinal and one stall. Always clean, with oceans of liquid soap. This bathroom is definitely a safe place to pee, to say the very least.
Grade: B+
6. Milledoler Hall
Just one word: stinky.
Grade: C+
7. Vorhees Hall
Doesn’t get much better than this when your going to the bathroom on campus. So clean you won’t even feel the need to lay down toilet paper (you probably should anyways though, just to be safe).
Grade: A-
8. Brower
Appropriately for the dining hall, this bathroom is pretty decent. Always soap, always toilet paper, but it could certainly be cleaner.
Grade: B
9. Tillett
The bathroom in Tillett is a reminder of how awful the forgotten dining hall there once was. It’s dark, smells stale and unpleasant, and has an overall atmosphere of sadness.
Grade: C-
10. Loree Hall
For all purposes, this is a pretty yucky place. The only reason it scores as well as it does is because there is some funny stuff written on the wall.
Grade: B-
Lee Seltzer is a contributor for the Rutgers Review, and a bathroom enthusiast.