The first person I kissed was substantially above my level. She was far superior in maturity and nearly twice my height. She couldn’t have been any more different from me. She was attractive, gregarious and certainly more popular. Just to remind everyone, these things mattered in middle school. She hung out with the football players and went to those non-alcoholic middle school ragers, whatever those were. On top of this, she had the biggest boobs in the 7th grade. Really. My first kiss was with a girl who was probably wearing a D cup in middle school. Other guys were infatuated with her boobs, but honestly, I could’ve cared less.
So why did she choose me? I mean, I was this strange theater kid, who certainly wasn’t ready to approach girls. My main goals were to memorize the soundtrack to Sweeney Todd and read all of 
Hamlet’s soliloquies. But you see, she was a theater nerd too. Popular girls can do theater in middle school and still maintain popularity, but the same can’t be said for guys. Guys who do theater are either very peculiar or unashamedly flamboyant. So, we were performing in a play called “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight,” one of a series of pieces from the “Knights of the Round Table” saga. I was Sir Lancelot and she was Morgan Le Fay, also known as the Old Lady. Through the rehearsal process we had become good friends, but I never felt anything romantic in the works. Consequently, this wannabe knight was about to get a kiss from a beautiful/popular Old Lady character with mega boobs.
We were behind the school, on the track, waiting for rehearsal to begin. Goose poop was scattered everywhere. Suddenly, when the sun began to set, as it should in these moments, she bent down very low and kissed me. Her boobs practically fell out of her shirt. She had some mango flavored Chap Stick on, which tasted nice and eased the tension as I attempted to reciprocate the kiss. But I must’ve looked like I had just been pelted with an airsoft gun. How could this gorgeous, popular girl be kissing me? I didn’t believe it. I said thank you after we finished, or something like that, and gave her a hug. Oh brother. I don’t think I’m the only one who had an awkward middle school kiss, but this one was particularly graceless. I remember feeling very excited during rehearsal, like I had accomplished something groundbreaking, but in reality I was confused about my feelings. Nothing else ever came of it, because I realized I was gay soon enough.
She left the drama club after that play and I rarely saw her again in high school. But I’ll never forget being kissed for the first time by the popular girl who had huge boobs. What an honor it was.
Cody Beltis