Image courtesy of R U Screw’d official Twitter page
For anyone looking for easy ways to get screwed, try putting all your eggs in one basket called Rutgers Housing! This is a special form of RU Screw’d though because it screws with your personal life by ruining friendships. The fact is, there are three types of nonrandom people that you can house with:
1. Obviously your close friends that you’ve been planning to live with for all of last semester.
2. People who you aren’t really close friends with, but you wouldn’t mind living with if it came down to it.
3. People that you will only save for the last resort, especially if they have a good lottery number. This is the most demeaning, as you wouldn’t be asking these people if you had any other option.
While it may seem like there’s a way you won’t get screwed, that’s a very naive assumption. If you ask one of your friends if they want to live with you the following year, and it’s during or after lottery applications, you know they’re either your number two or three, and they know it too. So they’re going to wonder, are they number two, or the demeaning number three…and things may just get awkward. Moreover, why are you even asking them in the first place? Probably because one of your number ones couldn’t entirely commit, so there’s that conflict. What if you’re with all your number ones, then you’re good right? Well, let’s not forget the number twos and threes that had the delusional idea that they’d be living with you next year, but when housing comes, you have to break it to them. So no matter your situation, you’re bound to get screwed. Have fun!
Boris Klimushkin