With countless literal HEART ATTACK inducing records expected to be released this year, this list was more than difficult to make.
I just really didn’t want to offend anyone…
So even though I can’t give gold stars out to everyone, I figured I’d start out with everyone’s favorite consolation category:
HONORABLE MENTIONS
10. DAVID BOWIE
Yes, we’re about to get real sad real quick.
He would have made this list no matter what, but the circumstances at hand certainly prove to bring our full attention back to the genius himself.
Bowie released his 25th studio album on his 69th birthday this year; a record he had been working on in secret while battling cancer. On January 10th, 2016, just two days after Blackstar was released, David Bowie passed from his long struggle with the disease.
RIP to the Rocket Man himself.
And thank you for leaving us a parting gift – Blackstar – on your way out.
9. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
Ten full studio albums in, there are few funk/rock bands that have sustained both the image and success that RHCP has. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis has stimulated major buzz on the band’s comeback following their 5 year hiatus, hinting at a much more modern sound this time around.
8. TINASHE
Following a string of well received mix tapes and her critically acclaimed full length debut Aquarius, the 22-year old has certainly made her mark as R&B’s “it” girl, but still remains largely underappreciated by popular music. On more than one occasion being deemed the “next Beyoncé,” as well as the new “Princess of R&B,” you can understand why her second studio album, Joyride, is set to be one of the biggest releases of 2016.
7. LADY GAGA
It has been a wild ride for Gaga.
Even though her last solo album, ARTPOP, received mixed reviews from both fans and critics, she has still remained one of the most innovative and prominent faces in popular music today. Her wildly anticipated fifth studio album is bound to be no exception to this.
6. RIHANNA
Once a year, from 2008-2012, you could pretty much count the release of a new RiRi album down to the day. Since then, the newly redefined “Bad Gal” has had everyone asking “Wyd tho?” after being nearly musically silent throughout 2013 and 2014. That is precisely why her album ANTi, released on January 28th, was the fastest album to become RIAA Certified Platinum (although, it should be noted that it was also the first album ever to be certified using track streams in addition to traditional/digital sales -______- WE C U RIRI!!!!! U AIN’T FOOLING US!!!!!).
NOW ONTO THE IMPORTANT ONES!
5. ZAYN
Zayn Malik, also known mononymously as ZAYN, pretty much has the world at his feet… and about a billion girls under the age of ten.
Former member of the *arguably* last relevant boyband left, One Direction, ZAYN has cultivated quite the following.
After being paired up and discovered by Simon Cowell on the UK’s televised singing competition The X-Factor, the group of five boyishly good looking Brits went on to delight the hearts of millions of both youngins and their parentals alike.
With a 5-album discography spread over the course of 5 years (2010-2014), the band was considered an overnight success.Their light-hearted, easily digestible brand of pop was an updated formula comprised of successes from years passed, including elements from the likes of the Backstreet Boys and N’SYNC, mixed with a cheeky British fare not seen since the days of the Spice Girls.
But, in a shocking turn of events, the group announced that Zayn was leaving the band on March 25th, 2015.
Hearts were broken.
Blood was shed.
The day was dark.
Now, in 2016, the white light (aka one of ZAYN’s dreamy new bad boy hair colors) has been found again. Zayn “Stans” everywhere have rejoiced at the prospect of the young artist’s solo career – some even saying that he had always been the most talented of 1D.
Now, following the recent release of his debut album “Mind Of Mine” (March 25th, 2016), it’s obvious the world has accepted the more mature ZAYN into their hearts. With interesting production blanketing ensconced, often forgettable vocals throughout, it’s unclear whether the mechanics of the album match its popularity, but both old fans and newbies don’t seem to mind. I mean, who can blame them? Look at him <3 #Directioner4Life
4. DRAKE
Few people have ever tackled a year in music like Mr. Aubrey Drake Graham did in 2015, boasting two chart-topping mixtapes and a series of free-released singles that effortlessly destroyed all that dared to come in his path.
Following the Toronto-based rapper’s 2013 third studio album, Nothing Was The Same, 2015 was expected to produce the release Views From the 6 – his fourth. However, Nothing Was Actually the Same after the rapper pulled a proper Beyoncé, dropping a mixtape overnight with zero promo.
If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late shattered the market in the first quarter, disintegrating streaming records and girls’ hearts alike; its only competition being Kendrick Lamar’s critically acclaimed To Pimp A Butterfly.
Speaking of Kendrick… them diss tracks tho!!!!!!!!!
2015 also saw more rappers bickering than any year since the Tupac-Biggie days, with both Lamar and Philadelphia-rapper-turned-Nicki-Minaj’s-boy-toy Meek Mill, taking a stab at Drake’s seemingly vulnerable emotions.
But see, once you mess with Wheelchair Jimmy, you mess with his f*cking fan base.
***WARNING*** DO NOT DO THIS.
Meek learned the hard way…. *cringes* and to put it frankly, the hard way took form as a Grammy nominated diss track thrown back at him (not to mention the internet destroying every fiber of his being).
“IS THAT A WORLD TOUR OR UR GIRL’S TOUR????????” @MEEKMILL @MEEKMILL @MEEKMILL
Even with a possible Views single already being out (“Summer Sixteen”), the world has come to expect Drake to reveal some huge project every 6 months or so, or else bad things will happen. Like “actually having to listen to Future” level bad…
3. MISSY ELLIOT
MISDEMEANOR’S IN THE HOUSE~~~~
CIARA’S IN THE HOUSE~~~~
Now we both know you sang those lyrics as you read this… I mean DO WE NEED ANY VALIDATION FOR HER PLACE ON THIS LIST????
With a 25-year long career in producing, rapping, songwriting, singing, etc., Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliot needs no introduction. Her groundbreaking beats and flawless verses got people dancing, while also helping bridge the gap between R&B/rap and popular music in a time when the two seemed to be separated by a chasm.
Starting off writing and producing for the late OG ”Princess of R&B” Aaliyah with business partner Timbaland, Missy dropped her debut album, Supa Dupa Fly in 1997, trailblazing a path for women in the industry through her unique, futuristic dance beats.
Now, in 2016, the songstress has a number of monster hits under her belt, including unforgettable tracks such as “Work It,” “Get Ur Freak On,” and “Lose Control,” the last of which being recorded with Ciara and Fat Man Scoop.
She even performed at Super Bowl XLIX as recently as 2015, LIT’RALLY SAVING the very talented *rolls eyes* Katy Perry from an otherwise gaudy and unimpressive performance (them Sharks tho!!!!!!)
Following this, Missy was heavily shaded for her 10-year hiatus from solo-production and lowkey threatened by Internet users of all ages, hungry for new music.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
“WTF (Where They From) [feat. Pharrell Williams]” was released on November 12th as the lead single from Missy’s seventh studio album, Block Party. With its classic Pharrell trap vibe and an offbeat rhythm, the song was praised by critics for its “truly Missy” nature and skyrocketed up charts such as the Billboard Hot 100.
Both the song and music video topped 2015 R&B and pop rankings, later being followed by the dance-ready, internet popular single “Pep Rally” in February.
Missy’s unifying qualities are irrefutable – her success transcends genre boundaries and shows just how prepped and ready the world is to GET THEIR FREAK ON once again.
WE LOVE YOU MISSY!
2. KANYE WEST
*sigh*
This guy.
What a year 2016 has been for Kanye West (and it’s only springtime).
Twitter is an archYeologist’s (it’s a Kanye archaeologist, yes I just invented that) paradise. It holds countless rants and rampages from the rapper-turned-fashion-designer-slash-mogul, which have only been getting more and more controversial.
It’s gotten to the point where people are now speculating about his mental health.
Whether it’s due to his mother’s tragic death a few years back, his recent marriage into the ever-concerning Kardashian clan, or a combination of a bunch of disconcerting life events, Yeezus has been spiraling continuously for the past few years and exponentially for the past few weeks.
But, all drama aside, Yeezus is far from undeserving of the critical attention he receives. I mean, that ego has to come from somewhere. In his case, it comes from consistently game changing albums that have garnered him the title of one of the best rappers alive.
His music is so good that it’s no surprise the whole world doesn’t write him off as a complete fool when he claims, via Twitter, that he will not attend the 2017 Grammys unless his newest album, The Life of Pablo, is handed the cultivated “Album of the Year” award beforehand.
On February 14th, West released TLoP exclusively on the Jay Z/Beyoncé/Nicki Minaj/everyone-you’ve-ever-cared-about owned streaming service, Tidal, just three days after debuting a majority of the songs at his Madison Square Garden “Yeezy Season 3” fashion show.
The record received much acclaim from a variety of critics, especially for its collection of highly varying musical styles – something never seen before on Kanye’s previously stylistically unified albums.
All in all, the world may roll their eyes once or twice in questioning whether Ye still has it all together, but at the end of the day we are still going to sit, breath bated, counting down the days until TLoP isn’t just a goddamn Tidal exclusive.
1. BEYONCE
OK, LADIES, NOW LET’S GET IN FORMATION.
OK, LADIES, NOW LET’S GET IN FORMATION.
OK, LADIES, NOW I’M SORRY FOR THE PREDICTABLE START TO THIS SECTION.
But like COME ON, QUEEN BEY IS BACK B*TCHES !!!!!
~~and with a vengeance.
This past December marked TWO YEARS since any large-scale new musical projects had been released by the goddess.
All seemed quiet throughout the Hive.
Little did we know, it was the calm before the storm.
On December 5th, to our surprise, we were hit with a B feature on Coldplay’s new album A Head Full of Dreams. The song, “Hymn For The Weekend” was accompanied by a controversial, culturally appropriative video, but was #blessed with Yoncé’s heavenly vocals as a backup melody.
To further our dysphoria, it was announced that she would perform at the Super Bowl, only four years after her last visit to the biggest stage in the world. BUT, this time, she would be the secondary act to Coldplay.
BACKUP TO COLDPLAY ??? Like uhhhmmmmm @NFL??? RU ok??? Literally, this was us:
Confused and irritated, the Bey Hive questioned why their matriarch’s return took form in such mediocre fashion.
And then it all made sense.
On February 6th, the day before her Super Bowl return, Beyoncé brought the world to a screeching halt… YET AGAIN.
WORLD STOP….
… CARRY ON.
The first single, “Formation,” off of her upcoming 6th studio album dropped around 4PM that day, f*cking up everyone’s afternoon/entire life with another controversial video.
A powerful Black Pride anthem (and total bop) in
the midst of Black History Month, the track instantly culminated an internet war.
With lyrics about loving her black features, baby Blue’s natural hair, calling out haters, and sex with her hubby, Jay, the song stood out as the typically under-the-radar activist’s most overt statement ever.
The video caused even more controversy, holding insanely compelling images, including her – a black woman – on top of a sinking police cruiser, a young black boy dancing in front of a line of surrendered white police officers, and graffiti spelling out the words “Stop Shooting Us.”
In the wake of rising tensions between minority communities and law enforcement officials, the messages were plentiful and clear – BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL, BLACK LIVES MATTER, BLACK GIRLS ROCK, etc.
Of course, with a star as decorated as Beyoncé supporting such a radical statement, backlash was inevitable.
Conservative, mostly white social media and news outlets flooded the headlines, calling the artist “Anti-White” and “Anti-Police,” some even going as far as to call for a boycott of her and her music as whole.
YES – YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY – A BOYCOTT OF A HUMAN BEING *eye roll emoji* *side eye emoji* *tired AF sleeping emoji*.
This was only furthered by her Super Bowl performance the following day, which featured an unedited rendition of “Formation”, as well as a ***Flawless troop of all black female dancers dressed as members of the historic Black Panther Party – a group that was largely portrayed by white media and the US Government as being overly militant and a threat to national security.
In the light of all this press, the ramifications of Beyoncé’s return to the limelight (although tbh, she never really left) have resulted in people even more starved for new music from her than ever before.
YES, SHE KNOW SHE THAT B*TCH WHEN SHE CAUSE ALL THIS CONVERSATION.
Bey knows she has always been a game changer, and that ain’t gonna stop anytime soon.
0. FRANK OCEAN
Okay, so you might be wondering if you read something wrong. 
NO you didn’t (well actually, you might have. I really don’t have the authority to speak on that…). But YES, there is in fact a Number Zero on this top ten list. Wanna know why? Because the human race has been Punk’d™.
Our food sources are desolate. Our lakes and rivers are dry. All around us, the foundation of our civilization is crumbling down, along with the last of our hope and dignity. The Human Race as we know it is slowly coming to a screeching halt. And even with all of these issues, we are left starving for the answer to one question and one question only:
WHERE THE F*CK IS FRANK OCEAN?
*Approximately* FOUR SCORE AND FOUR YEARS AGO, if you kindly overlook minuscule issues like the recession and majority/minority tensions, society was booming. Ocean’s only major label record, 2012’s channel ORANGE, had just shattered R&B and pop charts alike, gaining rave reviews from critics (some even naming it the best album of the year), while simultaneously slaying the bourgeois lives of peasants like us.
After accepting two Grammys and topping the Billboard 200, Frank went on to join legendary artists to the likes of Beyoncé and Jay Z on their individual projects, quickly flexing his celebrity before lowkey disappearing into thin air.
Now fast forward to 2015 –
The Underworld has taken over.
Millions of lost souls flood the streets, scratching and clawing to find their way back to the Surface.
Then it comes – a beacon of light! – a Tumblr post made by his truly announcing there would be SOMETHING…
an ALBUM…
with a NAME!
Boys Don’t Cry – released in July of that year.
Suddenly, the single flickering light erupts into a sea of glory.
Morning has come, and hope has been reborn…
…for now.
I’m sure you can put the rest of the story together, I mean it’s 2016 and we still left askin’ “WHERE THE ALBUM AT DOE????”
To be fair, we have since been graced with about 30 seconds of cryptic background vocals on Kanye West’s recent “Wolves” and a few unpromising rumors from one of Frank’s producers, but that is hardly enough to quench our thirst for The Ocean himself.
That’s precisely why Frank takes this list’s Number Zero spot – if we recall to our days in precalculus, we learned zero is an imaginary number. Is Frank Ocean imaginary too? No one is really sure tbh.
So Frank (or the governmental bureau who created your false identity), just please. We beg of you. Please Make America Great Again™ and give the people of this once beautiful planet something to believe in again – A NEW ALBUM.
Eric Weck