The Rutgers Review Poetry Collective
Drawn
by Minal Wajed
My thoughts spiral into oblivion
Whenever you cross my mind
It’s like I am drawn to you
In a universe so different from here
Where I am not aware of anything but you
Since you see the beauty of the world
Which holds the secret to all suffering
The solution to every problem
The transcendence of love and beyond
Of course I am drawn to you
Oh my desire for life
Tanha
by Zachary Kauz
Your absence left me with desire
Strewn across a canvas
Observed at a distance
Unclouded amidst an overcast
Casting doubt against recognition
Recognize what I have less than what I need
Recognize what I need less than I want
Want what I no longer will down the line
Identity evades me
Swept towards forbidden objects
Desire blusters against me
Sinks in where the tangible stops in its tracks
One track lays in front of me
Missing roads beneath
A destination lingers away
Retains strength aligned with my inertia
I want something I can’t have
It still lives in my fantasy
This Morning I Blew into the Dust
by Faith Franzonia
This morning I blew into the dust
existing within a steamy slice of sunlight.
I needed to remind myself
of myself.
As of recent,
I have been clawing at everything,
keeping nothing.
Who knew empty hands to feel so heavy?
When You Asked Me Why I Stopped Taking My Pain Meds
Anonymous
I wanted to feel something again.
Feel the ease of movement as my body stretched.
I wanted to stretch.
I wanted to feel the movement
guiding my body back into place
but no amount of pain meds could take me back.
Back to the times when this body,
this body was mine.
Picturing this body like tree limbs stretching far and wide.
So enumerated with the world that the reach seemed worthwhile.
Childlike bliss of reaching for more,
Always reaching for something outside of oneself.
Reaching for purity and a cleansing.
Reaching for a love that only the sunlight could offer.
Only picturing—
Because picturing was the closest sign of hope this body could reach.
Letter Your Brain Wrote As You Let the Water Run Down Your Back in the Shower
Anonymous
I refuse to believe I meant nothing to you,
That in the recesses of your brain there wasn’t a small part of it
Enjoying every second of my presence
When we were apart
you could never assume what we were like together.
How our energies thrived on the next quip,
The sly remarks
Bleeding off my lips,
You would challenge me
But I was too scared of losing you,
Too frightened at the thought of an impact I’ve made
From some offhand comment I said.
I was unsure why you kept finding ways to see me that week
Every friendship is to be mutual but rarely have I seen such codependency.
When responding to assignments
my brain would still replay our memory we made over coffee.
Handing me a leftover nugget from Wendy’s,
I swore I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than when you gazed into my eyes,
A warmth melting from your mouth as your lips slack from their smile.
Sometimes we would catch each other’s glances
But I think we were so embarrassed we would intentionally miss each other’s gaze.
I would circle the licks of your hair and fullness of your lips
And you would catch my vacant stares and half-parted lips.
I cannot stand the thought of being apart, I would think
Finishing up that Lang assignment
Involuntarily grinning as the images of our encounter loop over and over
stuck in certain sensory details from the time.
I miss when you weren’t hesitant with me,
That after you divulged your feelings about the other girl,
That we would still be in sync.
And sure we fall into place at the mere sight of each other
But my chest is not restless with happiness
I am echoing,
trying to find my heartbeat,
Throwing off calls in desperation
feeling these screams ricochet round the hollow walls of my chest
How can I miss what we never had?
Only you could ever humble me.
Silence my ambitions with the throw of your glance
Meeting my eyes, I was utterly exposed.
Lost in the cadence of your voice,
my words hung out to dry.
Pick me apart
Reconstruct me,
I am yours
Deny me.
Do you always lend the jacket you sleep in to strangers?
Are there other friends who are cold like I am,
Are you used to that gesture?
Have you personally awakened your acquaintances early on weekend mornings
To remind them sheepishly about their meeting,
when you claimed you had no real reason to be up anyway?
“Pick a shirt from my closet” you say, as I get up
disheveled from sleeping,
utterly ill-prepared
I am still in last night’s clothes.
I pretend you’re not tracing the outline of my back
through your sleep-dusted lids,
peering out from the safety of your bed
I say goodbye.
Where do you draw the line?
I’ll hold on to those memories
Images of us leaning off each other’s words
Hands hovering but never quite catching.
I’ll leave us in our better days
as you pretend here and now,
Then and there,
is just the same.