by Erin Byers
Many know Union for her role in BET’s Hit series Being Mary Jane while others know her for the classic Bring it On! But in this story line she’s not someone else, for once, she is herself. Sharing her deepest, darkest secrets in attempt to teach her readers life lessons that she acquired through her mistakes. Union also brings awareness to how people of color are treated despite the success and wealth they obtain over the years. In each chapter there is an underlying lesson to pay attention to as Union writes in five core emotions that connects the reader to the story on a deeper level. So pour yourself a glass of wine, because trigger warning, you will need it while reading Gabrielle Union’s book We’re Going to Need More Wine: Stories That Are Funny, Complicated, and True.
Flipping through each chapter feels just like sitting across from Gabrielle Union herself, clinking wine glasses together as she pours out her bottled up stories from over the years and welcomes you to some deep girl talk. She starts with by diving into her childhood, being one of few people of color in her neighborhood and school district came with a cost.
Consequences of being the Token
Growing up in a affluent town as one out of few people of color, Union recognized how her actions were interpreted and consumed by her peers throughout her adolescent years. She admitted to being the source of entertainment at sleepovers and carrying out over exaggerated comical scenes in effort to make her white peers laugh. Oreo holding the same weight as Union’s first name, she began to appreciate the summers she could escape her white suburban hometown and experience what life was like with peers that looked like her.
The Obsession with being validated
As any teenager, Union described her fixation on being accepted not only by her close female friends but also by the young men she sat in classrooms with: “My friends all had people checking them out and had their cute isn’t-that-cute elementary school boyfriends. I was completely and utterly alone and invisible” (pg. 47).
Union became consumed with the idea of fixing her hair to be as straight as possible; the closer to white her appearance became, she felt more secure. This obsession with being validated by the white gaze is not new for women of color. In fact, many women of color try their hardest to keep up with Eurocentric standards in order to appear the same to their white peers. In the process, self-sabotage, confusion and an obsession with validation can occur. Union directly confronts this issue throughout her book, admitting to harming her scalp when getting a relaxer treatment as a teenager. Leaving a relaxer in her hair for a ‘little extra’ to get her hair as straight as possible left her with lesions on her scalp from the chemicals burns at the age of 12. She shares this story with her audience to acknowledge the lengths she went for a perception of beauty and highlights what it truly meant when she received compliments and validation through her peers at that time:
“‘Oh my God, your hair looks so straight.
‘Your Hair looks so nice that way!’
Translation: You look prettier the closer you get to white.
Keep Trying.” (pg48)
The 411 on Breakups
One heart ache after another? Union’s chapter Prescription for a Breakup will guide you into the headspace you need to be in post-break up. She shares her favorite movies & albums paired with wine to get out of your funk. She also gives the best advice possible: “Cushion the blow with someone else’s body” (pg. 168). Yes, that’s right: always have plan B, C, and D prepared just in case plan A falls through or just breaks your heart into a million pieces. Union also shares her personal experiences with relationships, break ups and marriage throughout the novel in a way that is not only 110% relatable, but in some cases, the best lesson learned without the headache.
Fame, Fortune & Still a 2nd Class Citizen
Despite the prominence Union holds in cinema, television and entertainment overall, she has experienced the ignorance and exclusion of white spaces. As she shares the ugly truth about racial bias and discrimination in the industry, she makes it clear how to combat negativity as a woman of color. She hides no struggle or knock-out she endured when making her way up the ladder, giving aspiring women a glimmer of hope. Married to Dwyane Wade, she calls attention to the lengths she goes through in order to protect her step son’s from racial discrimination in a society that constantly view black men as a threat.
Admitting to living a comfortable lavish life, she highlights the downfall of still not being respected as a woman of color in white spaces despite being a homeowner in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in America. Using her voice and sharing her personal struggles is the best transparency Union can offer her fans & readers. So break out the wine, and pour a tall glass because you will need it as you navigate yourself through this raw form of literature.