Industry Sisters
For Women of color second-guessing their every move, when being the only inch of color in the room. Here rest
testimonies of sexual, physical and verbal harassment. From the industry, we curate and continue to produce art and entertainment. You may be the only glimmer of melanin at the table but you never walk alone in the fight for equality.
A short series of monologues
By Erin Byers
Boujee College Bitch in a Hip Hop World
Shani Saxon, former Music & Executive editor at VIBE Magazine, Senior Digital editor at US Weekly, Senior Director of BET digital content, Vice President of Programming at TV One and currently a Media Executive in the entertainment Industry. This interview was conducted in person on a late wednesday afternoon in a cozy uptown manhattan apartment near the pier. Shani sat with both her legs crossed over one another, her vibrant colored leggings merging into one sea of texture as her loose fit shirt swayed as she moved. Often she would touch her bare feet as she articulated her story. Her hands spoke and shared more than her voice did at certain moments, transcending the passion behind each experience. A loud TAP on the coffee table, a sequence of fingernail tapping that would help her focus on her narrative as she spoke. She shares the sexual harassment and hardships in her early career environment.
We were called names ( Pauses for a second ) FAKE AFRO CENTRIC- – BITCHES. BOUJEE COLLEGE – BITCH My work environment – early on MY WORK ENVIRONMENT …EARLY ON, ( taps coffee table as she pronounces every word) Was fiiiillllleeed, with – constant Harassment!, Inappropriate jokes! ( taps table ) being hit on! I worked for rapperssss! IT WAS FUCKING TERRIBLE . Before VIBE, I worked for – it was all boys, they were all high-
and they were all horrible…. And So I feel it became
just- normal for me. Just trying to navigate that. And that’s when I created my “I don’t fuck with rappers rule” …..It was constant.
When I was transitioning out of music management into working at Vibe A very successful rapper Who was part of a realllllyyy big group at the time, he was HUGE, He called me and congratulated me on not fucking him or any of his friends. He was like- “Usually! – When new girls come in they Fuck” And then he started listing in order who they fuck and how it usually plays out. So he congratulated meeee…. First off all , why are you even thinking about me in that way and why, why- am I being measured!? You know what i’m saying? On that level? You know? Like MIND YOUR BUSINESS !! So can you imagine if your boss called you and was like, “You Know what i’m really proud of you did a really good job, you didnt fuck any of them” Do you know how that FEELS? It feels terrible… There was a lot of harassment
I would have to field inappropriate advances from people coming in and out the office EVERY. DAY. Not just from artist, but from their Friends their bosses there entourage… And to make matters worse, I was the only black woman So I was immediately singled out.
Women. Who. Stuck. By. Each. Other
Ayana (Yani) Byrd current freelance writer/copywriter and former writer at VIBE Magazine, Editor at Conde Nast and producer at BET Digital. On a late Wednesday night she sat on the carpet floor of a cozy manhattan apartment that rest near the pier uptown. Her voice, soft but clear, she shared her testimony on the sexual, physical and emotional harassment she endured in her early career and who she relied on during those tough times.
So – umm- Everytime ive been sexually harassed or things like
ahhh umm-
-a man whose worked in the office and done something sexual or even just made me feel not safe
I haven’t felt like I had any protection….
I didn’t ever once felt like I could go to HR and say anything
I felt like If I did tell people what was going on they
either sympathize or it was immediately written off as not being that important…….
Ummm – I definitely never felt like-
I just never felt like a big deal was made out of it
So I think after a while
I just stopped really expecting anything to happen.
Umm- My first job was – like I said was at VIBE but working for Kevin Powell – but I was 90 percent of the time
working out of VIBE office.
Um- and it’s like margo said it’s like the wild west
There were
writers that would come in,
artist that would come in,
they were drinking,
they were smoking
they would talk to the women there however they wanted.
And no one ever had our backs.
But we had each others backs,
but that kinda didn’t mean that much… because it couldn’t stop somebody from thinking they couldn’t call you a
bitch.
Or talk about your body or do anything.
There were never repercussions for anything that happened.
Ummm-
My first job ended with me umm – being –
Literally locked in the house of the person that I worked for
And people from his job found out about it and not one thing happened.
Ummm-
– and years later people who knew about it – straight through- like
KNEW,
BELIEVED IT,
Umm- asked me why I had a problem with him
like I was never supposed to…
Be – Ah
Umm—–That big of deal
Like i know there were some people who thought I made too big of a deal
But
Nothing,
NOTHING HAPPENED TO HIM.
He didn’t get fired for it
He didn’t get reprimanded
Like
NOTHING happened.
So – Like I wonder if , post “Me Too” movement, if that would have been going on when I worked there
WHAT WOULD HAVE CHANGED?
I mean I think one thing that is great about the Me Too movement is it gives the women who things happen to a
immediate platform to say stuff… I don’t know how I would have, outed this guy.
I couldn’t have gone on,
there was no online to go onto,
I couldn’t of tweeted,
I couldn’t of done anything.
Like I told everyone that I knew but no one really cared or did anything — OR– the people that cared didn’t have
enough power to do anything about it.
Ummm-
What I will say is that,
In all the years that I worked in music and entertainment it was the Women who stuck. By. each. Other.
Like even if the men were saying crazy shit to us
Or
ignoring the things that we would tell them other men said to us
I feel like the women always looked out for each other.
They come, The See, They Steal Black Culture
A black man not only in the room but in the industry, that has a unique eye for identifying the gender and racial biases in the entertainment & music world. Currently Rondell Conway is an Entertainment Editor at VH1 and previously contributor and writer at VIBE Magazine and music critique. He shared his view of the industry with me as he sipped sparkling water on a plush sofa in a uptown apartment on a late afternoon.
It’s also-
We also don’t talk about
– is like,
the thievery of ideas
just persona
And everything they take from black women in the work space.
Like today I just had two executives, go into a meeting and basically claim the responsibility for something that came
from a black women in the office.
An idea for something –
they never mentioned her name.
Her Name….
It became –
“this dude was the one who basically brought us all together to do this thing.”
And I was just like-
That’s- RIDICULOUS!
And they don’t even know that they did that because they just feel like…..
Whatever she put on the table
belongs to US.
When I got my opportunity to lead a team I did my best to utilize the lessons of
supporting
And
empowering
the talent around me.
Fortunately many of the teams I’ve helped build included a majority that was made up women and honestly…..
the gender dynamics wasn’t even something I paid attention to.
I just knew I had a team of talented people
I had to do my best to maximize their talents.
Not so gentlemen likeee
Margeaux Watson – Current Vice President of Marketing at Roc Nation, former Music & entertainment writer at VIBE Magazine, Entertainment Weekly, Senior vice president of media relations at Motown Records, Senior director of marketing at Epic Records and Senior Manager at Spotify. She shares her horrific story of interviewing a talented R&B artist who lacked sexual control.
So like, lemme tell you this.. This wasn’t in the 90’s but this was like….
I was still at Time out NYC
and I was writing.
I was doing a bio for an artist, on aerosol records,
So this is Early 2000’s
And umm-
so this is an artist
he was new but he was kinda new,
he was known,
he’s an r&B singer so like –
We have this interview scheduled
and we do the interview on the upper west side at lunch time
and so like, when I got there and stuff he was like –
“Ohhh you’re a writer? I see you out all the time, but you two seem so unapproachable”
And then he was like
“Damnnn, you’re hair is like amazing”
and this what he’s saying as he’s opening the door
While we are walking into the RESTAURANT,
he’s like-
As i’m walking by him
…IN MY EAR…
“Is your Pussy as hairy as all that hair on your head?”
*Silence*
As were walking into the restaurant!
while i’m at work!
while im interviewing you for your BIO!
You know i’m press and your saying this….
Like there was no – there was no fear!
Like no one would say that to a journalist now!
And So I was like OH MY GOD, HERE WE GO.
Hes wilding out asking me all these crazy questions and im just asking him all my interview questions and not
responding to him at all.
At a certain point, apropos of nothing he exposes himself to me
*( undressed his lower section of his body and present his genitals to the subject)
RIGHT THERE AT THE TABLE.
I’m like OMG put that away!
Like what are you doing?!?!
He’s like- ” just look! Just look!”
This goes on, it was a WHOLE thing
Then finally he puts it away and goes to the bathroom- and he’s in the bathroom – FOR A MINUTE.
And I was like “OMG he’s jerking off in the bathroom right now”
And then he comes back to the table, we finish the interview and I leave and I get in the car service and call the record
label and I was like “this is gonna cost you DOUBLE”
The publicist was like “ omg, what happened?!”
And I told him.
The first thing the publicist said is
“ what are you wearing cause you know how these niggas are about you”.
Don’t you see the mistreatment?
Kim Ford – An energetic, flavorful and bold woman sitting with her legs crossed under one different. Very often she would sip her coffee and raise her voice when touching on a subject that was provoking.
This is the thing about being groomed and abused
It’s like,
It happens in a relationship where you are mistreated,
mistreated
No! first they GET YOU!
So they reel you in with all the flowers and candy and everything
And then your mistreated and you don’t know you are being mistreated because it is so small….
Oh, it’s a little mistreatment!
“Oh, your thighs look big today…but they are cute, they cute for you! Oh Thats cute! ”
“Oh you look cute for a darkskin girl, you look cute for a big girl, you look cute…”
You know what i mean?
That’s abusive though!
But your just looking for the compliment in it, right,
“BUT HE SAID I LOOK CUTE THO”
So like, you don’t realize you are being abused…
Then they really punch you in the face,
But then they apologize ….
And the whole cycle again and again and
AGAIN.
So you don’t realize it
And you end up apologizing to your abuser
SOOOO.. In the corporate world its
“we are gonna reel you in , here’s your desk, here’s your this and everything is cool”
And then slowly they reel you in like making you feel like shit.
You let it go
You let it go
You let it go
But then
The graze on your shoulder
The “ nice titties today”
Like ALLLLL those little things
And your like “okay” looking for the compliment in that
You know there is all of THAT and thennn the abuse again
And your like
“Im sending my resume out! I’m tired of this shit”
And then they like
“here’s an extra 25 hundred raise. You are moving up! You went from an assistant to a coordinator!”
And your like
“ okay! I am moving up in the company, i’m gonna play this game! IM WINNING!!”
You know what I mean?
And then that goes on
Next thing you know
You are years
And
Years in and your like, you become harden and then sometimes you know how they say we adopt the stance of our
oppressor?
Then you start spitting the misogyny back at them and things come out of your mouth!
Like they be like “ nice titties!” and you be like “ Nice dick” you know you just saying shit just to be in the boys club.
But the thing is
You’ll NEVER be in the boys club.
Because even when you think your in that circle
There is a room that they go to, yet again,
THAT YOU STILL CAN’T GO TO!
Your still can’t go to!
Office Mind Games
Laila Kabbaj- native to NY with a moroccan background. Identifies as a muslim and Arab woman. Former wire reporter at the United Nations and currently in a producer role at Atomic Entertainment Group. Laila shared the mind games and As she described her story to me, we sat in an open glass room of her apartment building in jersey city, her hair still freshly damp from the shower she quickly took before my arrival. Her voice very flatline and suttle, she began…
So here I am preparing mentally for a meeting and even in a meeting
Finding the right moment to get you know…
My point across
And be heard and not get angry every. Single. Time
I am interrupted
When I realize i’m interrupted way more than my male colleagues
And
That is not a matter of just being sensitive to that
That is something I have observed
over
And
over
And over…
Again.
And then I walk into a meeting
And I see these executives, my male colleagues and male clients
You know, completely in a state of relaxation, confident and are not hesitating about wanting to speak
Or not worried
I KNOW THEY ARE NOT WORRIED
About the same things that I AM
Worrying about or preparing myself for
And they are just free to spit ball or brainstorming freely.
I’m like
“Mannnn …. How nice it would be if my entire brain capacity was just like free of all these mental gymnastics that are
going through in my head”
And that is something i have really come to realize that
You know , i know a lot of women.
A lot of women in color in particular go through that preparation
That mental preparation
In order to be heard and taken seriously
In a group environment especially surrounded by their male colleagues
And a lot of the time their male colleagues are not facing that same thing
They are not doing that same thing
And their mind is on their work at hand.
And I feel that like,
That affects the ability to freely do your job at 100 percent capacity
Especially in a creative environment , especially in brainstorming meetings.
“But, it makes you look so…BLACK”
Personal narrative of an encounter at a professional U.S. News organization in NYC. At the time I was no younger than 22 and juggling work, school and freelance work as a young journalist. Small box braids were my go to protective style but in this encounter I wish it protected a tad bit more than my hair.
So, we’re all walking out the control room
It had to be no later than noon
about to dig in to the catered salads when…
I smiled
I said hi to her.
She was no lighter than my skin
Her hair wavy and loose, sweeping just under her collarbone
A tad bit shorter than mine but hey I grow my hair back faster than anyone I know.
For a quick second she looked dazed after my greeting and then blurted out and said
“Omg! I can never recognize you because everytime i see you, you have a new hairstyle”
I smiled…
cunning but witty, I responded
“Well, I like to switch it up, keep some people on their toes”
She laughed, only for a brief moment and then responded
“Yes, but I was so surprised by how long your hair was when you wore it natural! I think it looks best blown out
straight instead of braids!”
Hmmm. i’m thinking to myself
Her opinion
Everyone is entitled to their opinion…even if it doesn’t agree with your opinion right?
But then i’m thinking…..
she must be kidding
She must right?
She’s a woman of color, actually she’s a woman of the SAME color
as me.
So she must understand protective styles in the winter for a woman with a demanding schedule right?
She must understand
She has to.
No way she doesn’t.
I respond still smiling, “ I prefer braids when weather can be so unpredictable this time of the year. Plus they are a
great protective style when i get too busy to do my hair!”
She smiles and begins to respond
Only this time, I don’t think she is aware of how deep her words will cut
“Yes but braids are just sooooo ……Black…..you know? You look much prettier with your hair straight for work”
Jab.
It felt like a full force jab
Or better yet a full force tug on all my braids
Slipping them out and preparing my hair to be straight.