In a world where we are constantly scrolling through social media and bombarded with images of unattainable beauty standards, it is easy to compare ourselves. We see these beautiful women with flawless skin, toned bodies, and meticulously styled hair. It is hard not to wonder: Why doesn’t my hair look like that?
We have heard “Don’t compare yourself” countless times, but why? Shifting your focus to appreciate your inner beauty is the key to lasting self-love and confidence. True beauty is not what is reflected in the mirror but how we feel, think, and interact with the world.
Comparison is human nature, but comparison kills. It feeds our insecurities and invalidates our self-worth. When we measure our beauty against an idealized version of beauty—one that could be edited, filtered, and touched up to perfection—we set ourselves up for defeat. No one is perfect, and it is easy to forget that when social media creates such unrealistic beauty standards. But the fact is, no one else has your exact perspective, talents, or experiences. No one else can offer what you can.
As cliché as it sounds, true beauty comes from within. It is something no one can take away from you. When you connect with your inner self, you begin to understand that true beauty is found in how you treat others, how you hold yourself through hard times, and how you embrace all of your flaws.
We often forget that beauty is not something we can see or touch. Real beauty is found in the things that cannot be measured. You are not solely what is reflected in the mirror. You are truly reflected in the way you show up for the people you love, the way you lift others, and the way you forgive yourself for your mistakes. You are your sense of humor, creativity, and empathy. These traits and actions are what make you truly beautiful and keep you unique, even if they’re not always visible to the outside world.
Over the past summer, I started to understand what it means to heal and love myself fully. The true test of self-love and care comes when you are faced with putting yourself first, even if it hurts. Whether it is leaving friends who mistreat you or walking away from something that no longer serves you, it can be very difficult and lonely—but in the long run, it is worth it. Healing is always worth it, even when it hurts.
If I could offer advice to my younger self, it would be this: no matter how much you compare yourself to others, it will not change who you are. You will not become any more beautiful by putting yourself or anyone else down. You can never duplicate what you see on social media. You can not escape your own skin, so why not learn to love it? Why waste time and energy hating yourself when you could embrace who you are and appreciate the unique beauty you already have?
Another piece of advice would be to start being kind to yourself. Speak to yourself as if you are speaking to a friend. Learn to forgive yourself and others. In situations where it is hard not to hold a grudge, remember that everyone is part of your growth, not your identity. Forgive them so you can live with peace of mind. This is everyone’s first time living—they, too, are on their journey of learning and growing.
One of the most important pieces of advice I can give is to build a support system of people who encourage you and make you feel good about yourself. Surround yourself with friends who are willing to listen to the same story a million times until one day, you are over it. No one needs to be around people who make them feel like they are too much—because no one is ever too much.
Embracing your inner beauty is about recognizing your worth beyond appearances. It is in your kindness, authenticity, and resilience. Healing and self-love take time, but they are worth it. When you see yourself with love and acceptance, you unlock the confidence to live unapologetically as your true self.