How much of our lives do we have control over? How much of our lives are left up to fate? Can the two coexist? These questions have left humanity puzzled, and these are the questions I was left with after finishing The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. The protagonist, Nora Seed, finds herself in a magical library between life and death. Each book represents a different version of her life; the library is a metaphor for infinite choices. While exploring these alternate realities, Nora embarks on a journey of self-discovery, learning what makes life meaningful and fulfilling through themes of regret, possibility, and the power of choice. Some decisions can feel monumental, as if they can change the trajectory of our entire future. What if life was less about finding a “perfect path” and more about embracing the choices we make along the way?
It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. It takes hardly any effort to wallow in our regrets, which can keep us stuck. Life is full of critical and minuscule decisions, and these decisions can feel overwhelming because each choice seems to lead us down a vastly different path. We can’t see how each decision might play out, but we often idealize the paths we didn’t take, assuming they must have been better. As the book points out, the truth is that no decision can guarantee happiness, and no life is free of hardship. Instead of dwelling on past choices, it’s a better use of time to focus on the path we’re currently on and take it to where we want to be.
I was never comforted by the belief that life can be “predetermined” by destiny and fate. I found comfort in my control over which decisions to make, which is ironic because I spent many years making decisions based on what others wanted and expected of me. Did I really choose for myself if I acted on all the voices around me? A powerful takeaway from The Midnight Library is that destiny isn’t a predetermined path we will follow. Instead, destiny is something we co-create through our choices and mindset. While we can’t change everything, such as our upbringing or unexpected challenges, we can always change how we respond. This mindset transforms the idea of a fixed destiny into something more fluid.
Ultimately, the biggest lesson from The Midnight Library is that we have the freedom to choose how we live. While we can’t explore alternate universes where we make different choices, we get to make daily decisions that shape our future. Happiness isn’t about escaping your current reality; it’s about choosing to embrace it. If you want a change, then you can create that change. Every day is an opportunity to take ownership of our choices, let go of regrets, and move forward with intention.
So, how much control do we have? There is no obvious way to tell how much of our lives is left up to destiny or choice, but the two can coexist. Matt Haig demonstrates their coexistence by showing that while life offers infinite possibilities (destiny), our decisions (choice) determine the paths we take. While destiny provides the framework, choice fills in the details, and our mindset determines how we experience the life we build. Life hands us possibilities, and we shape them into something meaningful. The beauty of life lies not in its perfection or certainty but in how we shape it through choices and perspective.