Sally Rooney’s Normal People is often misunderstood. While several readers appreciated the realistic portrayal of young love and honest depiction of emotional struggles, many found the read to be boring and the recurring theme of miscommunication to be frustrating. Rather than trying to be a love story between two people who are perfect for each other or a frustrating and toxic relationship that abuses the misunderstanding trope, the book dives into the quiet and overlooked spaces between what is said and unsaid. Normal People is not just about miscommunication, it’s also about societal expectations and individual desires. To dismiss it as slow and uneventful is to miss the deeper truths about love, identity, and what it means to be “normal.”
Normal People has a romance, but it is not a romance. It follows the complex relationship between Connell and Marianne, two high school classmates with hardly anything in common. As they spend more time together and navigate the challenges of growing up, their connection deepens and shifts into something between friendship and romance. The first sentence of the novel describes how their relationship works: “Marianne answers the door when Connell rings the bell.” (Rooney 1). The sentence is hinged on the word “when,” giving an equal weight to both characters and hints at the theme of action and reaction: one character does something that prompts a reaction from another character. Throughout the novel, Marianne is often reacting to Connell’s actions, especially at the beginning of their relationship. This sentence also establishes the tone of the novel, as it’s very simple and there’s no sugar coating. The simplicity makes the novel out to be realistic, relatable, and “normal” as the themes of miscommunication, identity, and class are explored.
Class plays a significant role in shaping the lives and relationships of the characters, especially with how Marianne and Connell interact with each other. In high school, the two of them were in different social circles that paralleled their status in society. Connell comes from a working-class background, raised by a single mother who works as a cleaner for Marianne’s family. His social life at school is defined by his friendship with the “popular” kids, and he is often caught between his desire for acceptance from this group and his loyalty to Marianne. While being intelligent and capable, the discomfort and imposter syndrome he feels after high school stems from being thrown into a world that is so different from his working-class background. Marianne, in contrast, comes from a wealthy but emotionally cold family. Her father and brother are abusive towards her, and her mother is distant, leaving her feeling isolated and unloved. In high school she was labeled a “loner,” but she managed to find her place socially in college. Despite her intelligence and strength, she struggles with feelings of inferiority due to her family’s dysfunction and the class differences she faces in her personal life and at school.
Marianne and Connell’s differing experiences in college as a result of the class culminates in the grand misunderstanding of the novel: Connell is too uncomfortable and embarrassed to ask Marianne for a place to stay, which leads Marianne to think that he’s rejecting her because she can’t fathom what it’s like to to be in a position where you have to ask someone for money or help. This suggests that class isn’t just about money, it’s about the subtle ways privilege and poverty shape the way people see themselves and how others perceive them. While the characters’ lives may not seem “normal,” their experiences, the way they navigate them, and the concept of misunderstanding and misinterpretation are raw and authentic. These are things that readers can relate to and spot in their lives, which makes them familiar but not necessarily normal. The novel suggests that “normal” is less about fitting a certain stereotype or mold, and more about the shared human experience of navigating life’s imperfections and complexities.