Somewhere along the way, “It’s not that deep” became the default response to, well… Everything. The phrase is often tossed around—especially on TikTok—when a conversation starts to lean into vulnerability, seriousness, or even just genuine enthusiasm. While it may seem like a casual, lighthearted saying, the prevalence of its use reflects American society’s discomfort with caring too much.
Anti-Intellectualism & Apathy in Online Culture
In my column “My Predictions for 2025 Trends”, I wrote about how ‘surface-level’ BookTok’s “lack of variety suggest[s] a growing preference for comfort over challenge and simplicity over depth—a pattern that reflects the broader rise of anti-intellectualism in America.” However, the apathy toward critical conversations isn’t limited to how we talk about books. It’s part of a culture shift—across the U.S and arguably the world—that favors amusement over introspection and simplicity over nuance.
Some creators have started to push back. @poison_bf on TikTok posted a video critiquing the casual use of “it’s not that deep” and “who cares,” asking those who often use these comebacks, “where’s ur passion? where’s ur rage?” He expresses that living with such mindsets is “such a pointless existence.”
Similarly, @nonathango suggests that people who respond to anything with “it’s not that serious” have “gone through life unchallenged.” He explains that these people often shut down anyone who thinks critically or “speaks with some thought behind it” because they don’t understand, and instead default to phrases like “it’s not that serious.” Like @poison_bf, @nonathango believes that living this way “must be an extremely unfulfilling life.”
The Decline of the Smart Girl
This shift in how we talk—or don’t talk—about what matters has also reshaped who younger generations see as role models. In the earlier days of social media, inspiration often came from fictional characters on TV and in movies. Now, it’s more likely to come from influencers and content creators. That isn’t inherently negative, but the values and behaviors being celebrated have changed.
Remember iconic early 2000s characters like Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls and Elle Woods from Legally Blonde? Both were celebrated for being driven, thoughtful, and unafraid to care about the things they loved. While, they’re referenced in TikTok for aesthetics purposes, it seems like for younger generations—especially Gen Alpha—they no longer feel aspirational.
It’s not that these characters have entirely faded from popular culture, but they feel increasingly distant. They existed in a world untouched by social media, where reading books in public or speaking up in class was admirable, not performative. Today, everything is content waiting to be used for social media. Every interest is up for scrutiny. Everything is cringe.
The Fear of Being Cringe
Being labeled as cringe is something to be avoided at all costs—even if it leads to the complete loss of identity. However, a trend has been circulating on TikTok, where people post clips of themselves dancing, painting, or just simply enjoying having fun, paired with the caption: You found it cringe, I found it fun. That’s why I’m happier than you. These videos counter the culture of mockery that discourages people from expressing themselves and the constant need to be nonchalant.
TikToker @horacegold puts this trend into words, saying: “The fear of being cringe, limits people from actually living their lives.” When we make choices based on how others might perceive us, we end up living, as he calls it, a “grey, meaningless life”—one shaped by other people’s expectations rather than our own interests.
Yes, It Is That Deep
So maybe it’s not that deep. But also—maybe it is.
As Abraham Piper (@abrahampiper on TikTok) puts it: “Of course it’s not that deep. Nothing is. But also… yes, it is, and everything is.” He explains that part of being human is choosing what matters. We “have to pick some things that matter,” because we have “the unlikely and unique capacity to think things through, to ponder.”
Sure, in the grand scheme of things, we’re just one species on one planet, but that doesn’t mean we should go through life as if nothing matters. The fear of being cringe has convinced us to stay quiet, to disengage, to stop thinking too hard, however, as Piper reminds us, “it’s core to who we are to treat things like they’re profound.”
So stop trying so hard to be unbothered. Pick up a hobby. Post the video. Talk about the book that made you cry. Let people think it’s cringe. Let them think you care too much. At the end of the day—it’s really not that deep.